A revision of an old poem (september 2006), for the Writer's Workshop workshop - Punctuating with Purpose. It's heavily revised in both punctuation and actual content. I haven't been able to write anything I've been content with for quite a while now, and I hesitate to grope for the easiest explanation- "writer's block" since that's just laying the blame on something perceived to be beyond ourselves and therefore out of our control.The point of this little digression is that it's partly the answer to number 4 (In a roundabout way).


1. Do you usually punctuate your poetry? Why/why not?

When I first started writing poetry (around eleven years old, I think) I went through a phase where I used a comma at the end of every line, with the poem being effectively one long sentence, my focus being on line breaks to emphasise specific themes, ideas, etc. (which were, in hindsight, contrite) It was only later that I began to focus on enjambment, and more complex forms of punctuation in poetry. I usually do punctuate my poetry, and though I occasionally still have a penchant for commas, I think my preferred tool is enjambment, since I love jarring, awkward poetry.


2. Are there lines in this poem where you were considering other punctuation (or no punctuation)? If so, what were you considering and why?

In line three of the first stanza I wanted to use a semi-colon because I felt that it would add to the jarring effect, but upon consideration I felt a colon would be more appropriate.

3. If this a new draft of an old poem, do you feel better about your choices this time, or do you feel as if you were forcing the punctuation use?

I do feel better with this version because I've learned a lot more about punctuation over the past two years, and my style has changed (and developed). Not to mention the fact that as part of the excersise I focused specifically on punctuation.

4. Overall, what is the effect you would like this poem to have on the reader? In other words, what are you going for, here?

I wanted the first stanza to be jarring, awkward and rigid (like an equation, or the straight part of a parabola), with the last four lines spilling into each other, creating a sense of urgency. The following stanzas gradually soften, like dissipating smoke (or even the curve of a parabola). The last stanza is meant to drift off, incomplete almost.

I also wanted to convey the urgency and vibrance of early autumn, and the gradual change that occurs as everything slows down, the air and environment becoming sluggish, but this theme can be adopted for other concepts within the poem as well.

Thanks for reading!